The Good Guest and Finances

Money is tight. For a lot of people. It's not surprising, considering how expensive everything else is. It seems like every time you get your hands on a little cash, it flies away to the mysterious pit of Bills.

Comments from brides and hostesses have come my way concerning comments their guests have made concerning everything from travel costs to how much the hostess spent on something. It shouldn't have to be said, but comments about finances should remain only between those that it concerns.

For example, one bride said she overheard a guest saying "she must not have spent much money on decorations." It hurt her feelings quite a bit, understandably, seeing as how much time and effort she put into making a nice event. She said "I felt cheap. Like no matter what I did I would always be sub-par". That's not the kind of impression you want to make as a guest!

Another hostess said some invited guests commented on how they would have attended if the event was somewhere closer. The hostess has chosen the location because it's special to HER, and plays a vital role in how her day looks. A more considerate response would have been to mention how much you would love to go, but unfortunately can't make it. Simple and polite. 

Another bride let me know that a bridesmaid complained to her about how much money she spent on bridal showers, bachelorette parties, dresses, etc. Accepting the invitation to be a bridesmaid means you will be spending some of your own money to make sure the bride has a great experience. If you are unable to afford the job, politely turn it down. By complaining to the bride, the bridesmaid was adding stress, anxiety, and guilt to what should have been a bright and happy time.

Money is a very touchy subject for everyone, guest and hostess alike. Commenting on how much or how little something costs can be hurtful, and may damage your relationship with the hostess. Be careful with what you say, and if there's any question there may be hurt feelings, keep your comments to yourself.